Quotable Sunday - Truths

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure. ~Murphy's Law

If there is something you must do and you cannot do it, you cannot do anything else. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

I tell you this, and I tell you plain:
What you have done, you will do again;
You will bite your tongue, careful or not,
Upon the already-bitten spot.
~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. ~Author Unknown

A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist. ~Franklin P. Jones

It's always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped. ~Author Unknown

An unwatched pot boils immediately. ~H.F. Ellis

If you wonder where your child left his roller skates, try walking around the house in the dark. ~Leopold Fechtner

Anything you lose automatically doubles in value. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. ~Will Rogers

When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time. ~Author Unknown

How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire? ~Christy Whitehead

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. ~Author Unknown

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. ~Author Unknown

Why do they put the Gideon Bibles only in the bedrooms, where it's usually too late, and not in the barroom downstairs? ~Christopher Morley, Contribution to a Contribution

It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. ~Grace Hopper

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance. ~Author Unknown

If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered. ~Edgar Allan Poe

People who snore always fall asleep first. ~Author Unknown

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. ~Author Unknown
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